Dear Ma,
Since the last time, my sexual orientation is the elephant in the room between us. I never had the courage to open up the conversation. I don’t know where this fear came from. Ma, you married a person who you did not love, only for the seek of grandpa’s reputation. I know how painful you were to be struggling between our traditional values of reputation and the respects of individuality. You gave in, however, under the shadows of grandpa. Ma, I guess your compromise was the reason of my fear. I fear that my Chinese identity is not accepting me as a whole person. I yearn for the freedom to express my affections that I was unable to. I feel apart, my parts of body are resisting each other and I feel lost. Ma, for so many times I wanted to tell you about Vivian, about the significant other of my life. But I can’t. Ma, I hope one day I can speak to you frankly about who I am, about this already known fact. I remember Miss Simone once said that freedom is when you have no fear. When will the day come, that I can kiss Vivian with no fear.
With love,
Wil