Dear Granny -
I can't shake this feeling of guilt from myself. I've felt it since the day I decided to pass as white. How could I live a life as luxurious as a white person's while my grandmother worked long and hard back home? I've been selfish, and I've betrayed you. I'll be the first to admit it.
But Granny I can't tell you how nice it is to be a white woman. Of course there's the big things, like the fact that I've never even been considered a suspect by a police officer since becoming white. But it's the littlest things too that make life so easy. Gentlemen hold the door open for me wherever I go. I can comfortably use any restroom I desire to use. I can be as loud as I want. I don't have to constantly feel the searing hatred and disgust from white people on the street.
Oh, Granny, I wish life could be this way for everyone. I know you love Miss Em, but it's people like her that are keeping us from living this luxurious life. You haven't exactly kept it a secret that you disprove me passing for white, but I wouldn't be half the nurse I am today if I hadn't. You have to understand that it's hard for me to feel shame about what I'm doing when I know that it's giving me a better life for me and my future children.
I love you and the way you raised me. I'm sorry it has to be this way, but please try to understand. I'm going to do my best to make you proud to be my grandmother again.
With all the love in the world,
Pinky